In January 2009 President Obama announced the closing of the Guantanamo Bay Detention Facility within one year. To transition the "detainees", the President further appointed a commission to review each case and make recommendations as to the disposition of that detainee. The commission is made up of various law enforcement agencies, the military and various members of the Departments of State, Justice and Homeland Security. Enter the Uighurs (pronounced "we-goor").

The Uighur (also spelled Uygur, Uyghur, Uigur, Uyghur) are a Turkic ethnic group living in Eastern and Central Asia. Today Uighurs live primarily in the Xinjiang Uyghur Autonomous Region (also known by its controversial name Uyghurstan or East Turkistan) in the People’s Republic of China.

Further, there are Uighur diasporic communities in Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Mongolia, Uzbekistan, Australia, Germany and Turkey and smaller ones in Afghanistan, Russia, Taoyuan County of Hunan province in south-central Mainland China. Uighur neighborhoods can be found in major Chinese cities like Beijing and Shanghai. There are small communities in the United States, mainly in Los Angeles, San Francisco, New York City and Washington, D.C., as well as Toronto and Vancouver in Canada. (Source: Wikipedia).

Apparently 17 Uighurs were captured in Afghanistan in 2002 in Al Qaeda/Taliban training camps where I am sure they were studying subjects like Goat Herding, Advanced Basket Weaving and How to Grow Poppies for Strictly Pharmaceutical Uses. They were transported to Gitmo where they remain today. Even though they are Chinese citizens, the Bush Administration declined to return them to their country of origin, a practice known as "rendition", as the Chinese government would likely put these Uighurs in a very uncomfortable place (no not the back of a Volkswagen). Or torture them. No, not the frat-boy, Animal House style torture of Gitmo where detainees were required to recite the Koran backwards while standing on their head or fart the U.S. National Anthem while gargling Gatorade. I mean real torture. The kind that does permanent damage. Or, God forbid, execute them.

In March the Administration announced plans to release the Uighurs. No, not back in China. Or in any other country listed above which I am sure would love to have 17 fun loving kids from the terrorist training camps in Afghanistan. No, the Administration wants to release them right here in the United States. And since we can't have 17 homeless Uighurs running around, the Administration will also kindly provide the Uighurs with housing and a stipend. All courtesy of you and me, the taxpayers. And all, mind you, against the recommendation of the very commission that the President authorized to make these calls.

So the ultimate identity politics president has found the ultimate identity politics group. So forget hard work, fair play and striving to succeed. Just go Uighur. Say it loud, I'm Uighur and I'm proud. I'm calling it may new retirement plan. Now if I can just join the UAW and get some of that GM and Chrysler money, I will be all set.

So to all you government types out there, I am the 18th Uighur...